Granny Panties Perks and Bennies....

No one notices me anymore.  I can remember when that was one of my greatest fears...that no one would notice me and I would cease to exist.  I used to go to a lot of trouble to get noticed.  There were the obvious things of course like hair, makeup, perfume, etc...but I used to pull a lot of outlandish stunts too.  Oh well,,,who doesn't?  Now I am facing my greatest fear square on and I kind of have to laugh.  It fits me perfectly.

Remember the old cartoons where they would use vanishing cream?  Then they were invisible and no one noticed them.  When I go out I sometimes feel as though someone dumped vanishing cream in my bath and forgot to tell me.  And just as in the cartoons where they suddenly had license to do whatever they wished without being noticed, I find myself enjoying that same liberty.  I can almost understand why older people are notorious for shoplifting...lol.  It occured to me last night as I was dancing in my basement to native american music that even alone...I would never have done that when I was younger in my grubbiest shorts and wearing NO makeup.  So what that told me was that people have never really noticed me all that much...at least no more than anyone else.  All along it was ME noticing myself.  That brings me to Granny Panties Perks and Bennies #1.  A substantial decrease in levels of self-absorbtion.  Woo Hoo!!!  How liberating is that?

Yes, my hair is fading, wrinkles are firmly established and not going anywhere soon, I am overweight and sometimes when I cough my engine backfires, but good god almighty do I ever appreciate myself more than ever before.  And that is not out of self-absorbtion which is my favorite part.  I appreciate myself because I have lived my life and done the best I can, and never given up.  Those things have rewarded me with unbelievable friendships, and close family ties that are worth more than anything else in the world.  And as I become less self-absorbed, and more life-absorbed, my invisibility becomes my spotlight...